


Burden Shared, Burden Reduced

by cyanoak



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band), Infinite (Band)
Genre: Gen, Warning: Serious conversation of former members.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 19:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18999142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanoak/pseuds/cyanoak
Summary: Or, a commentary on friendship, leadership, and growing up.Two vice-leaders taking care of their leaders. And Lee Sungyeol is a really good hyung despite what everyone (including he himself) says.Warning: Serious conversation about former members! If this upsets you, please don't read! Writing this was part of my healing process, and helped me accept 6!Infinite and 10!Golden Child.First person (Kim Sunggyu) narrative. Set in sometime in January-March 2018, after Jaeseok left and when Sunggyu (probably) knew that he had to go to the army soon.First work ever, please be kind :]





	Burden Shared, Burden Reduced

"Sunggyu hyung-nim, I apologize for being late!"

I frown as the freezing winter wind rushes into the restaurant before the door slams close behind the tall lean young man.

"It's fine, I know how dance practices always go overtime." After a quick bow, Daeyeol unwraps himself out of his scarf and coat and sends me a shy smile and plops on to the chair across me.

"So..."

"Yes, Sunggyu hyung-nim?"

I roll my eyes at Daeyeol, who has his legs stretched out to a side. _Damn you, I'm-a-giraffe-yeol brothers and their long-ass legs._

"Drop the '-nim', Lee Daeyeol. How long have we known each other?"

"Ah hyung..." Daeyeol blushes. Normally, I would tease him, but remembering why the two of us were here, I drop it.

"Aunty, a bottle of soju and two glasses...when is the last time you ate?" I ask Daeyeol, but don't give him a chance to answer. "Never mind, I know you are hungry...Aunty, and a bulgogi and ssam set please"

The alcohol comes first and I down a shot before I try to start our conversation. _Although, why isn't Daeyeol saying anything? Dammit, I guess I have to start?_   "So Daeyeol-ah, I heard that you are stupid enough to think that you are a bad leader?"

Immediately, Daeyeol's face darkens and his whole body slumps. He stares at his glass sorrowfully. The kid looks like his world has ended. _Hmm, I didn't think it was this serious. Although, why would he ask to talk to me if it wasn't?_

 

* * *

  

It was a really odd message from Woohyun. Well, not that Woohyun sending me a message in the middle of the night is odd, he always does that, that dipshit, but what Woohyun had said.

Kaokao Chat Group: me, namstar

namstar: Gyu-hyung, Daeyeol wants to meet and talk to you tomorrow. Today, I mean.

me: Woohyun, you really need to learn when to send a message. Hint: NOT fucking four in the morning.

namstar: About how he's a horrible leader and a bad person and all that.

me: ???!! Don't wake me up in the middle of the night for a joke, you bastard.

namstar: No really. I'm not joking. Just meet him yeah? 11 pm at the barbecue place.

me: Fine. now fuck off.

namstar: I love you too, Gyu-Jjijji!

Now, Daeyeol is close to all of us Infinite members. For me, he's another little brother, albeit, one I don't see as much as others. And I'm sure Woohyun sees Daeyeol like that too. But **Woohyun** asking me to talk to Daeyeol about something like this? Sungjong or Myungsoo, I can see doing, and maybe Sungyeol if they're not fighting again. But Woohyun? Why would Daeyeol share his worries to **Woohyun**?

 

* * *

 

"Everything looks so delicious as usual. Thank you Aunty!"

I look up from my thoughts to see Daeyeol smiling at the restaurant owner while helping her place the dishes on the table.

"Oh you, always so handsome and polite! Tell me if you want anything else!" the owner gushes. As soon as she's gone, Daeyeol slumps down again, and looking like, I imagine, when Sungyeol refused to buy him new shoes all those years ago. _Fuck. Please don't cry. I can't handle crying._

"There, that's one reason why you are not a bad leader" I blurt out.

"Huh?"

"You greeted and helped the Aunty brightly and politely even though you feel like shit."

"Uh, hyung? That's just normal for an idol. A leader should do more than that!"

"Okay, what is the problem? Why do you think you are such a bad leader? Did one of the managers scold you? The CEO?"

"No, not that. It's that, I must be a horrible leader...for a member to leave? right? I mean, why else..." Realizing what he just said, Daeyeol stops and winces. "Sorry hyung! I'm not saying you are a bad leader or anything like that. You are an amazing leader!"

_Oh, so **that's** what it is._

"Yeah, I'm an amazing leader. But why do you think I am?"

"Well...you keep everything in order. You know everything. And lead the members in everything! You make sure everything is perfect!"

"If so, why did Howon leave?"

Wide-eyed, Daeyeol shakes his head, food and soju all forgotten. "That's different, Sunggyu hyung! Howon hyung wanted to do something else, and it's his choice...and uh...hyung, you didn't do anything wrong! You are still a great leader!"

"So why can't it also be Jaeseok's choice then? What if he left because he 'wanted to do something else'? And he left because of that, not because you wronged him somehow? Doesn't that mean you also didn't do anything wrong?"

"But I could have done something! Take care of him more! Listen to him more! Don't make him cook for all of us, or...I don't know, make sure he gets more lines!" Daeyeol continues. It's like a dam that has burst.

_Oh, this kid, why has he kept all this to himself?_

"And now that he's gone, everyone is sad. Jangjun has started cooking for all of us. And he is also trying to be mature, which is **so** weird by the way, and Youngtaek..."

"You can't do everything, Daeyeol. It's a team effort, you know. We all need to lean on each other. Why haven't you talked to anyone about this?" Daeyeol tries to reply, but I wave him off. I toss back another glass of soju and gestures to Daeyeol he should do the same. _It's because he's the leader. We leaders can't go around saying that kind of stuff._

"Never mind that, Daeyeol-ah. Eat, I know you are hungry." I glare at him until he grabs a piece of bulgogi, wrap it with a piece of lettuce and chew it sulkily. _Hmm...what else can i say so this kid stops being so stupidly harsh on himself?_

About Jaeseok, it's not your fault. Really, it's no one's fault. Everyone has their own road, and they need to take it. You can't force them to take another path just because you want them to, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"So you did nothing wrong. Actually, you did the best you could by letting Jaeseok follow his own path. It is no one's fault. Do you understand? How about your members? Do they also know that it's no one's fault?"

" **Oh**! Oh no, I **am** a horrible leader!" Daeyeol drops his chopsticks and puts his head in his hands. _Shit, shit! Wrong thing to say!_

" **Lee Daeyeol** , listen! When Howon told us that he's not renewing his contract...I realized that we Infinite members, never really talked. I mean, we obviously talked, about work and who is the most dipshit out of us and all that, but we didn't really talked about the serious stuff, like life and future, certainly not person to person...only just as members talking about the next promotions. And I think that's why Howon's decision was such a surprise."

I take another drink of soju. It stings, even though (or maybe because) it's been a while.

"So we talked. Really, really talked. And when we did, I was surprised at how mature and how grown-up everyone was. I mean, yeah, I already knew Dongwoo and Woohyun are more than their usual crazy selves, but Sungyeol, Myungsoo and even Sungjong? I had forgotten that they were no longer the little kids that they were at the beginning. They have all grown up. We all have, really. And changed, too. But that's not always a bad thing, Daeyeol. People change as time passes, and along the way, their wants and goals change too. And for Howon, his just changed to something a bit different than staying in Infinite. But that's fine. Because, in the end, we can't hold them back or be mad at them just because we don't like it. We got to trust them and their decisions, and let them do whatever makes them happy, right?"

_Huh... the kids will be able to take care of themselves and Infinite when I am in the army. I guess I have been worrying too much about it._

Daeyeol is quiet. And staring at his glass. So I ramble on.

"I can't even imagine how it's like to be a leader in a group with so much younger and so many members. I mean, fuck, I thought four years and seven members was a lot, but seven years and eleven members? And you have known some of them ever since they were **literally** babies! I am so fucking glad I'm not you. I don't know if I can lead so many members and such young ones too. But you can. And you've done well. You know, Sungyeol always goes on and on about how you are a better leader than I am, that dipshit! And the CEO, when he talks about you, you are always 'a good kid and a good leader'."

Daeyeol is blushing now, but doesn't look like he fully believes me. But he doesn't look like he is going to burst out crying anymore. Rather, he looks thoughtful, so I guess that's an improvement.

"So yeah, stop worrying so much. You are a fine leader! But if you still are worried, maybe have a group talk, and let the kids tell you what they think and let them help you. And, that's enough about **that**...how's everything going? You said Jangjun cooks now? How hasn't that kid poisoned you all yet?

Daeyeol barks a laugh, and his face lights up as he starts talking animatedly about how Jangjun is surprisingly a good cook. _It's amazing how quickly he springs back. I don't think I could, at least **that** fast._

"By the way, hyung, not that I don't appreciate this. I'm really thankful, but how did you know I wanted to talk to you about these things? I never told or messaged you."

_Argh, Nam Woohyun!_

* * *

 

Kakao Chat Group: namstar, thebestyeol, and Ybunny 

namstar: Yo, S.Y.s! Sunggyu hyung just sent me this message: Gyu-jjijji: Nam Woohyun, I am going to fucking **kill** you the next time I see you, you bastard. Shit, Sungyeol is on this too, isn't he? Who else?

thebestyeol: Ha very clever Namu. Is 'S.Y.s' all you can come up with?

Ybunny: Thank you Woohyun hyung!

namstar: You are welcome, Sungyoon-ah. It was for Sunggyu hyung too.

Ybunny: Hyungs, Daeyeol hyung just messaged me saying that we are going to have all-member meeting tomorrow after our dance practice. Thank you, hyungs!

thebestyeol: Okay good. Signing off until the next time we have knock some sense into those two again.

namstar: I'll bet it will be in about two months. Deal, S.Y.s?

Ybunny: Sorry, Woohyun hyung, I need to go check on the kids before I go and pick up Daeyeol hyung from the restaurant. Goodnight, hyungs! Thank you again!

\---Ybunny has logged off---

thebestyeol: Namu, I'll take you on. 20 that it will be within one month?

namstar: Yep! Get ready to lose that 20!

**Author's Note:**

> Background for this story:  
> Sungyoon noticed that Daeyeol was having a hard time after Jaeseok left, so he contacted Sungyeol for advice. Sungyeol, in his wisdom under all that choding-ness, remembers that Sunggyu is also stressing about Infinite since his military service is coming up, and so contacts Woohyun. The three set up the meeting by lying to Sunggyu that Daeyeol told Woohyun that he wanted to talk to Sunggyu. And also lying to Daeyeol that Sunggyu told Sungyoon that he wants to talk to Daeyeol about something. 
> 
> And yes, Sunggyu figures it out at the end. It's up to you to decide if Daeyeol has also figured it out, but in my mind, he doesn't and never will. (I love how clueless Daeyeol is sometimes! Sorry Daeyeol-ah)
> 
> Phew, that was complicated! But I wanted to write about the special relationship between the two leaders and their 2nd-in-charge. And how Sungyeol really does love and watches out for Daeyeol even if they fight all the time. But really, there should be more real-life Infinite x Golden Child interactions! Or at least more Infinite x Golden Child fanfictions!


End file.
